Be My Valentine

Be My Valentine

With the coming of February our thoughts often drift to Valentine’s Day and visions of romance. For some these thoughts are along the lines of lovers and romantic dinners complete with roses and enticing boxes of chocolates. While for others these thoughts bring sorrow missing a past love, or pining for a new love to enter their life. Last year, due to a freak heart condition, I got a surprise just before Valentine’s Day. My husband almost made me a widow!

After he started to feel closer to his old-self, he took me out to eat. This was between doctor appointments and without any kids in tow. (Due to our abundance of food allergies plus my love of cooking, eating out is a very rare occurrence for us.) Our day together was a highlight of my year!

Looking back, I ask myself, “Was it because I could have lost him and didn’t?” or “Was it actually getting out to eat and not having to clean up afterwards?” or “Was it merely having a breather from the kids?” Nope, none of the above! I believe it was because of how we connected during that time that made that day really stand out, not just to me but for him as well. We skipped the small talk and all the little filler things that always get in the way. Together we spent the whole dinner and stroll about town afterwards talking in-depth about our dreams, our kids, our goals and our fears. Everything was open and heart-felt. Yes, almost losing him greatly inspired this occurrence (as well as our decision to start this blog/business adventure we are on now.) But—what if I wasn’t given that chance—what if I had lost him, and he had died that day?

While we considered ourselves a close-knit couple before the event, our relationship now reaches depths that we had only imagined before and contains richness that I hadn’t thought possible. Did we need to wait till life threw us a curve ball? Sadly, no, but we were comfortable in our relationship. We had a close relationship. We had a good relationship. Yet we were settling for good, and cheating ourselves out of so much more!

Why stop at our Valentines—what about others in our lives? Are we pleasantly coexisting, but cheating ourselves out of something deeper and more satisfying? For both the young and old, every day is a gift from the Creator. Time is not guaranteed. When was the last time you experienced that special depth in a family relationship? And I don’t mean the gushing emotional “I love you” although that often needs to be said, but what about truly sharing and getting to know each other? Do you truly know your parents, grandparents and siblings, or is what you remember 10 or 20 years out of date? I realized this when an older relative texted me something he was sure I would enjoy—something I haven’t been into since age eight!

Often times, it is those we grew up with and have known our whole life, or those we see every day that we settle for the closeness we have. The media seems to suggest if the relationship is not abusive and does not contain harassment, then it’s good. After all, “If it’s not broken, why fix it, right?” But how would that work with your car? The oil is not broke, so why change it, right? But if you wait till the oil gets so full of crud—at the very least you get poor gas mileage—and if you let the oil burn up completely—well you can just kiss that car good-bye!

Relationships are the same as that familiar car you drive every day. Just as we often have to make it a priority to get that oil changed, we should do the same to refill and refresh our connections with our loved ones.

So I challenge you this Valentine’s Day to strengthen and deepen a connection, be it with your spouse, grandparent, parent or friend. Don’t wait for life to throw you a curve ball or cheat you out of it entirely—by waiting till it’s too late or spending your life being consumed in clouds of fluffy commercial filler. Take the time to tell a loved one what they mean to you. Take the time to really connect. Make this Valentine’s Day count for more. After all, that is what Valentine’s Day is celebrating. The depth of love and appreciation we have for those special to us. Finding a deeper connection with our loved ones is where true specialness is found!

Thoughtful pondering from the nest of the Homesteading Hen